Monday’s guests were Michel Lauziere, Michelle Pfeiffer and Jonah Hill. Excellent show to start the week off - Dave is on top form. Still very hot in NYC according to Dave - “Lindsay Lohan checked herself out of rehab and into a Dairy Queen”. Dave’s very excited - tonight we have a “Master Of The Unusual” - Michel Lauziere (of which Dave has problems pronouncing). Dave says - he’s not sure - but he thinks the “Master Of The Unusual” qualification is a two year course. His trick? Well, tonight he’s on rollerskates out on 53rd Street, with two wooden poles and lots and lots of wine bottles. The aim? The play the tune of a song while going along on the rollerskates in the middle of the two rows of bottles. Very impressive - and it sounded great. Well done. Also Scooter Libby (AKA Gerard Mulligan) made an appearance to do a little Q And A - regarding his recent court case against him. Gerard put in his usual hilarious routine, chugged a beer, hit some imaginary bowling balls and his standard “I thought that question was for you” when Dave asked him how he responds to people saying he’s an egomaniac who belongs behind bars.
Dave has an interesting Maury Povich story - involving Amanda upstairs in the office. He phones upstairs, speaks to Stephanie who passes the phone onto Amanda (Dave can never remember her name or how long anyone’s been working there). Amanda says she got tickets to Maury (it only took her 10 years to get tickets - I think she applied for them when she was in school) and Mr Povich had asked her to go out to get him some cigarettes during the taping of the show (”You got 20 dollars?”). Needless to say, Amanda didn’t get Maury his cigarettes and told him to get them himself. What really sealed the deal was Maury calling her Peggy. Of course, Amanda says it took her ten years to get tickets as Maury is a very popular show. Michelle Pfeiffer was up after Michel Lauziere - to promote Hairspray (John Travolta is on Wednesday’s show - and Queen Latifah was on last week). Michelle says she’s enjoyed having five years off, but her kids wanted her to go back to work - so she did. Jonah Hill was the final guest of the night - promoting his film, Superbad. Jonah isn’t the type you’d associate with waxing salons, but his friend runs one and he found himself in the waiting room. He said he teased a woman one time who came in there - he said to her “This place his good” which surprised her. Jonah says his friend had a dream involving Jonah and Paul Shaffer - which ended in them having sex. Paul looked shocked.
Tuesday’s guests were Adam Sandler, Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg (from Mike And Mike on ESPN) and musical guests, Mute Math. In tonight’s monologue, Dave spills the beans on the new Harry Potter film - “Harry defeats the evil wizard with a secret potion from Barry Bonds”. Dave - being the good guy he is - arranged a barbeque for the staffers. He says it was ruined - we cut to a clip of a NYC taxi cab mowing down the BBQ tables out on the sidewalk. Looks like the cabbie could do with some more driving lessons. Alan has something to tell us - and nothing unusual about that. But, what is it? Well, Donald Trump has a new office chair out - again, nothing unusual yet. Alan has one with him and whips off the sheet to reveal a plain black chair - hmm, all looks pretty normal to me…? Alan isn’t too pleased to say the least - those stagehands didn’t stick the fake Donald Trump-esque hair on it - d’oh. Alan walks out disappointed and frustrated. That’s enough of that ugliness - let’s move on (at least he’s not “making us all sick” tonight). Another Apple computers advert tonight with Gerard and Chris. Chris Elliott mimics someone who looks like (for legal reasons - heh), David Hasselhoff - AKA The Hoff. Chris eats some food off the floor and rolls around looking drunk.
Now, here’s a surprise for tonight’s big show - who should turn up after all the conspiracy theories? Who did we think had gone forever? Who? Who? Well, Rupert Jee! Yes, Rupert is back and took part in an hilarious “What’s On The iPod?” segment (Rupert picks a woman from the crowd - no surprise there). Excellent - we’ve all missed Rupert - glad he’s back. Hopefully he’s going to be making regular appearances again - he needs to make up a batch of deli platters. The Top Ten looked at Dave’s often-publicised “erotic blog”. Adam Sandler was the first guest out this evening. It’s the first time Adam has ever been on the Late Show - other than when he hosted it when Dave was ill a few months back. Dave thanked him for filling in - which was nice - and Dave said he would return the favour to him if Adam was taken ill in Vegas or somewhere. Adam said he went back to his old family home recently, and had a look around - only to find someone else called Adam now in his old room. He said he was a bit cheeky and Adam had enough - “Well do you make $25 million a movie?” Mike and Mike from ESPN were up next to talk about the Yankees, the Jets and all things sport. Mute Math gave us a booming performance to end the broadcast this evening.
Wednesday’s guests were John Travolta, Paula Abdul and Teddy Thompson. Tonight’s the night when Dave’s obsession (remember “Wildfire”?) with the “Old Turkey Buzzard” song started (it played when he threw one of his cards through the window). Osama bin Laden had a new video - “Death to America”, etc, etc. The show was interrupted tonight for a CBS Special News Report - of which there was none so they return to the programme “already in progress”. Another Apple commercial from Gerard Mulligan and Chris Elliott tonight - this time Gerard gets taken away by the Feds for his illegal music downloads. Is OJ in prison? Chris thinks he is - heh. Dave didn’t want to sing on the new “Spelling Bee” segment. Alan got bitten by a spider in his “Adopt-a-Pet” segment, looked stunned and made an abrupt exit - he should be okay - we hope. Dave’s mom does the Top Ten list live from Dave’s home in Indiana - she reveals her son can still be a disappointment and a success at the same time - interesting.
John Travolta was first out of the green room tonight (promoting the new film, Hairspray). He talked about his dancing with Sean Connery, amongst other things. Also, the usual embarrassing clips surface - this time with John Travolta in a really old commercial. Alan has a quick Mojito in the commercial break. Paula Abdul was out next. The big question being was she “gooned on the juice”? The answer was no. She blames Simon Cowell (hey, why not?). Teddy Thompson rounded off the big show with an fantastic musical number.
Thursday’s guests were Mark doing a stunt outside (it stopped raining just in time), Kevin James, Spanish chef Jose Andres and musical group, White Rabbits. Dave took a while to get out on stage tonight - I wonder what the hold-up was? Anyways, on with the show. Dave talks about yesterday’s burst steam pipe - “there’s a 15-by-20 foot crater.. by tomorrow, it’ll have a Starbucks”. A pretty cool stunt out on 53rd street tonight - consisting of a guy with a trampoline, a car, a basketball and a basketball hoop. What’s the trick? Well, he has to run up, jump on the trampoline, spring over the car, flip around and slam-dunk the ball into the hoop. Did he do it? Of course he did - and in lovely slo-mo instant replay. Nice. The Late Show’s been nominated for some Emmys again - of course, the obligatory “Biggest waste of a Broadway theatre” I’m guessing - heh. Dave shows us why he was nominated with a nice clip CBS have put together. The “Late Show Cash Giveaway” was next - but the guy running through the theatre with loads of money forgets to slow down for people to grab some - and he runs straight out of the back doors. Ah well. Dave looks bemused and we carry on with the show.
“Old Turkey Buzzard” makes another appearance, followed by “Spanish TV Is Better” with women throwing cake and something else at some guy on a Spanish TV show. Jessica Biel is the number one “thing” in the Top Ten list tonight - understandable. After the guy completes his stunt out on 53rd Street, Kevin James (from King Of Queens) is the next guest. He says he likes Cinnabon and walking escalators - but thinks they should have some sort of exit on them - or just have them going straight into the Cinnabon shop. He also wanted to try the basketball stunt on 53rd street but said he wouldn’t even take off the trampoline so it would have been a waste. Kevin also tells-all on his fans (he likes the ones who know the name of his show - oh, and his name).
Tony Mendez has another preview of “How It’s Made” from the Discovery channel - this time he shows us how apple pies are made (but he gives up before they make one - the guy telling him says there are many times of sugar, apples…). Up next was the hilarious cooking segment. These cooking segments are always funny, but tonight’s one was extra special. Let’s just say Dave started spitting out fountains of wine - some of which ended up on chef Jose Andres. All in the name of fun. Jose seemed like a nice fellow - he took it all in great spirit (even referring back to the earlier “Spanish TV Is Better” segment when asked about his TV show in Spain). I haven’t laughed this hard in ages - that wine-spitting bit cracked me up. Absolutely hilarious. White Rabbit gave us a song, before the credits rolled - the end of another fine broadcast.
Friday’s guests were Julia Stiles, Pete Jordan (the guy who washes dishes) and standup comedian, Nick Griffin. We kick off the show, as always, with Dave’s monologues. He reminds us tonight there’s “not been a man on Condoleezza Rice”. It’s Friday, which means it’s time for Fun-fun-fun-fun-fun-fun-fun Facts, where we learn “everyday at 4, President Bush has a banjo lesson”. To Dave’s bemusement, the phone beside him starts flashing - someone is calling in, even though no one know the number…? He picks up the phone and someone asks for “Gene” - Dave doesn’t know how that is so thinks it’s a wrong number. Wait a minute - a late show staffer comes out (the guy who played the Domino’s guy, the card trick guy, etc) and it turns out his name is Gene. He starts yakking on the phone and asks Dave for a pen and paper - turns out there’s some sort of event happening in a hotel tonight…? We move on…
We’re in for a treat tonight, as David and Victoria Beckham drop by for a visit (they look suspiciously like Sue Hum and one of the Late Show staffers, don’t you think). Dave says it was really them, so it must have been. Another thing we learn in tonight’s show - George W. Bush says “no one’s ever accused me of being Shakespeare” - there’s a turn up for the books. Julia Stiles is up next for a chat about her new film - The Bourne Ultimatum. Dave decides to use her Cosmopolitan magazine feature for the basis of the interview - and it seemed to work well, I thought. Julia goes on to talk about her trip from NYC to Miami by train and how it wasn’t like it seems in the old films. She would like one of those gold rings though…
Pete Jordan was up next. If the name doesn’t sound familiar, then he’s written a book about washing dishes in several US states. Dave tells us he was on the show several years ago - but it wasn’t really him… Pete’s friend came out and did the interview back then instead, as Pete’s not a fan of TV - he just said he comes along for the free food. Nick Griffin rounded off the show - and the week - with some comedy. Nick’s quite a funny guy - especially the joke he did about energy drinks (he said he needs drinks for hope, not for energy) - but he finds cookies help - oh, and sex.
To see who’s on next week, go to www.lateshowuk.com/guest-listings
Or to see previous Late Show roundups, go to www.lateshowuk.com/show-roundups/late-show-weekly-roundups
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