Late Show UK

Monday’s guests were Susan Sarandon, Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly and music from Feist. Tonight we’re in for another “likeness of Biff” treat. We’ve had Biff in ketchup, the questionable Biff in ice, Biff in post-it notes, someone getting a tattoo of Biff on their leg - and the list goes on. Tonight we have someone doing a likeness of Biff in sand - the guy’s doing the sand sculpture outside. Dave checks back in with him throughout the show to find out how he’s doing. Up next - it was the Miss Teen USA contest, and we see some poor dear trying to answer something. Then we have George W. Bush in Great Moments In Presidential Speeches, followed by a special segment marking the end of summer (is it the end of summer already?) - What We’ll Miss About Summer (featuring various Late Show staffers) - in which we learn Dave the cameraman has hired himself a couple of women, Pat Farmer’s been whacking people with a bat - oh, and Alan made us all sick again (”wrap your fingers around this Roman candle”). After the Top Ten list, the first guest out tonight is Susan Sarandon (Dave can’t believe she hasn’t been back to the Late Show in such a long time), who discusses her flight over on the same plane as Rick Reilly who’s on the big show tonight, her child (and Dave’s son, Harry - Dave says he’s already fully grown), and her new film Mr Woodcock which looks quite good. Up next - we check back in with the sand sculpture guy - the Biff sculpture looks very nice. The next guest out is Rick Reilly from Sports Illustrated. He talks about the hate mail he gets from cheerleaders (which coincidentally is the subject of his new book), and Michael Vick - amongst other things. Feist closed the big show with their fantastic song, 1 2 3 4.

Tuesday’s guests were Kevin Bacon, little-league champion Dalton Carriker and music from T.I. with Wyclef Jean. Tonight we learn of a new Osama Bin Laden version of the ever-popular High School Musical - we cut to a clip of Osama and his buddy “singing” - heh. Then we move onto Larry Craig (US senator) who got arrested in public toilets for reasons we won’t go into here - followed by a short video piece. Some guy comes in to do some vacuuming next - he thinks the show’s over as it was so quiet - oh dear. Great Moments In Presidential Speeches is next - tonight we have Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagon before cutting to George making himself look like an idiot. A nice segment with Ruper tonight with friend of the Late Show, Deborah Lynn - the psychic (or is it an intuitive?). It’s Psychic Soup! Loved the theme tune for this. Deborah didn’t guess the soup correctly (she was blindfolded) - but Dave gave her the prize anyway. Little-league champ Dalton Carriker was the first guest out tonight (he added “Yes, sir” after everything - which was cute). Quite nice to have a guest on who’s not plugging a book or something. The next guest was Kevin Bacon. He talked about the trekking he used to do - they used to pack everything except water and had to squeeze water out of their swimming trunks to survive - oops. Music from T.I. with Wyclef Jean closed the show - quite good.

Wednesday’s guests were talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres, Curb Your Enthusiasm actor Jeff Garlin and music from Against Me! “Leona’s dog is going to use that $12 million to organize fights between NFL players”. Michael Vick’s found Jesus, but Jesus says he doesn’t want to be pulled into this awful mess re: the dog fighting. Alan’s wearing a jacket made out of cardboard tonight - hmm, looks trendy. Alan does a little dance in honour of Ellen (who dances on her show) and he dances himself out the back of the Theatre. Osama’s not been hiding in caves apparantely - latest intelligence indicates he’s staying at one of his friend’s houses - making for a brand new CBS sitcom apparantely - “The Militant Islamist Terror Mastermind of Queens” (a take on “The King Of Queens” I think). Dave’s off to Yankee Stadium for batting practice tonight so he’s rushing through - Paul says he doesn’t blame him. A message from Larry Craig (the senator who got arrested in a public toilet recently) - featuring some mashing up clips. After tonight’s Top Ten list (”Signs your neighbour is hiding Osama”), Is This Anything is back. Wait a minute - that’s not a real contestant - that’s right, it’s the “F*** you” guy! When Dave and Paul say they think his act is nothing (one of the plates wasn’t even spinning!) he gets angry and tells everyone to, well, er - you know. Dave got the “f*** you” treatment twice for some reason. Ellen DeGeneres was the first guest tonight - she’s about to start a new season of her popular talk show, but she finds it hard to think of new questions to ask guests all the time and gets bored asking the same ones all the time. She says a lot of people alwayhs come up to her and ask her to dance - even when she’s in the doctor’s surgery. One of my favourite Dave quips tonight has to be during Ellen’s story of her at her friend’s wedding when someone came up to her and said “I loved watching you bawling” - Dave comes back with “been a while since you did any of that”. Zing. Dave also reinacts something from one of his parties when a woman came up to him - drunk - and says she hates his show. The interview ends with a question about pears… Tonight we have another one of Abraham Lincoln’s film reviews - this time it’s The Bourne Ultimatum, which got four stove-pipe hats. The next guest out is Jeff Garlin from Curb Your Enthusiasm, who has a new film out. He talks about Viagra commercials and an embarrasing truth about his son. Music from Against Me! closed the show - I liked this song.

Thursday’s guests were Hillary Clinton (who - of course - is running for President) and music from Kenny Chesney and Willie Nelson. It’s the 14th anniversary of the Late Show tonight - congrats. “Here’s how lovely it was in New York City today - Senator Craig came out of the men’s room squinting”. “It’s our 14th anniversary here at CBS. 14 years? I’m just another dumb guy without an exit strategy”. Audience Show And Tell is back tonight! Featuring a guy who can play harmonica using his nose (one of Dave’s favourite songs apparantely), and a guy who can put a tennis racket on one leg, and push it around his body so it comes off the other leg - pretty impressive. A special Top Ten list tonight to commemerate the 14th anniversary of the Late Show - “Things I Have Learnt Working At The Late Show” - featuring various Late Show staffers (some Dave recognises and others he doesn’t). Biff says “for a man who just turned 60 Dave is surprisingly senile” - Dave thanks him. Hillary Clinton had an extended guest slot on tonight’s show. She, of course, talked about running for President, what she has planned for Iraq (she wants to start withdrawing troops now), her campaign and where she’s been, what it’s like to have Bill out on the campaign trail (Dave asks is he needs reminding he’s not running for President himself), Dave’s jokes about her pant suits (she has some of them written on cards), her summer jobs when she was younger (gutting fish), whether the US is ready for a female President and she does her very own Top Ten list (”Campaign Promises”) - “One more pantsuit joke and Letterman disappears”. Hillary came across really well - seems very likeable. Music from country legends Kenny Chesney and Willie Nelson end the show with a good slow country song - I enjoyed it.

Friday’s guests were Amy Sedaris and Will Arnett. Tonight we have another trick out on 53rd Street continuing the summer extravaganza of jumping over cars/cabs. Tonight they have a guy jumping over a cab on stilts. I noticed they only closed one lane of the road again - an accident waiting to happen? Luckily, nothing went wrong. The guy’s friend has actually tried this with a moving car - he says the video’s on YouTube somewhere. A segment featuring Mother Teresa now - apparantely she endorses Arby’s. Then we have a short video for walrus penises(…). Then Dave says Nicole Ritchie was jailed for just over an hour - is that enough punishment? “The Late Show - Scaring audiences straight since 1993″. Great Moments In Presidential Speeches is next - George likes saying “Huh”. It’s Friday, which means Fun-fun-fun-fun-fun-fun-fun facts! Some are thought-provoking and others are funny. After the Top Ten list, the guy out on 53rd Street jumps over the cab on stilts - really impressive - he only just made the landing without falling over. Amy Sedaris is out next - she’s always hilarious and weird (in a good way). The first thing she did when she came out was taking a slurp of “coffee” from the Late Show mug - everything she does makes me laugh for some reason. Amy says she doesn’t like the summer as the holidays don’t involve presents, unlike the winter ones. Dave says he has a swimming pool - and Amy says Paul and Dave were up for some award for best kiss. Ah, and she checked the Late Show couches for change - as she’s been counting up her quarters lately. Will It Float was next - tonight’s item is tartar sauce - it floats (it actually sinks to begin with then comes back up to the top). Will Arnett was the next - and final - guest tonight. I enjoyed the rendition of the “Will It Float” theme tune when he entered - with the words changed to “Will Arnett” - very good. Will talked about people in Sweden, the commercial voiceovers he does and his new film - The Brothers Solomon. That’s it for this week.

Guest listings for upcoming shows are available at www.lateshowuk.com/guest-listings and the archive of Late Show Roundups is available here.

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