Late Show UK

Monday’s guests were actor and musician Jamie Foxx, Jimmy Smits (from CBS TV show “Cane”) and music artist Will.I.Am. “What a great week - Lunatic Dictator Week in New York City”. Tonight’s show starts off with a little anecdote involving Dave at home with his son. Harry asked how old Dave was and he answered “60″ - and Harry thought he was teasing. There was something in the Q And A tonight before the show - someone in the audience had a heart-shaped potato. Dave mentions this and says that’s all he needs to make him feel happy. Intriguing. Floyd Landis (the fat guy on a bike) rides around the theater - following the drugs scandal meaning he had to give back the Tour De France title. Tonight is the night of another exhibition backstage - they have a guy who’s going to try and break the record for how many elastic bands he can fit around his head. Odd - but genius. Up next was a clip of an awkward looking Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (something about liking George W. Bush’s body), and then a look at the new CBS fall season (including the “bitterly disappointing” - the Late Show). Dave keeps reminding us that sugar is the new oil (the slogan for the new CBS show “Cane”). After Great Moments In Presidential Speeches, it’s time for the Top Ten list. But there’s a problem with the machine playing the animated titles and it gets stuck. Dave goes down to the basement and George Clarke says something about being in love with Dave - or something similar - I can’t remember exactly now. The first guest tonight was Jamie Foxx who was on to talk about his new film, then Jimmy Smits came out to chat about his new show “Cane” (seems like a likeable guy). The elastic band guy backstage managed to fit 60 of them around his head - very good. Music from ex-Black Eyed Peas member Will.I.Am closed the show - I really liked this performance.

Tuesday’s guests were actress Kate Walsh, filmmaker Kevin Smith and music came from Rascal Flatts. “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad — according to this guy, there are no homosexuals in Iran. I guess that explains the pathetic state of their musical theatre”. “It was so nice that the United Nations canceled the global warming conference and went to the beach”. A pretty clever opening for tonight’s show - they had a really intense promo made (basically a “Previously on the Late Show” bit - like they do for the likes of 24 and CSI) - showing an array of past moments in Late Show history. This was really nicely done. Dave starts off by showing us an advert for CBS in today’s newspaper - advertising their new fall programmes. It mentions all the big-hitters like “Cane” - and at the bottom of the ad (in small print) it mentions the Late Show. Tonight’s show involved a lot of bits for “Cane” - involving the fat guy (I think they used him for the detective segments a while back) - saying “Sugar is the new oil” with Alan reminding us to watch it on CBS. This was a clever take on what other shows do - promoting other ones within them. Up next, George Bush gets interrupted by traffic noise because of these UN meetings holding up traffic in the city. Old Turkey Buzzard makes another appearance when Dave throws the card through the window - Dave and Paul agree they need to get the guy on the show for a performance of the song. Great idea. A day in the life of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was up next - here we learn he visited Broadway show Jersey Boys - surprising. Great Moments In Presidential Speeches was next, then Small Town News (featuring an advert for Cat Of The Week - which was actually a picture of a dog - and a picture of the mis-spelling of the word “School” painted on the road). Then we have the Top Ten list. Kate Walsh is the first guest this evening (she looked lovely). Kate talked about her TV show, her newlywed life, her wedding (she fainted from dehydration), amongst other things. Bill Scheft (Late Show writer) came out next to talk to the audience - he says he’s tired of writing jokes and wants to thank O.J. Simpson for giving him a lot more easy material for the next few months. Heh. Kevin Smith was the next guest out - he talked about his new show and his past achievements (and his new book with bits and pieces from his online blogs). Music from Rascal Flatts closed the show.

Wednesday’s guests were actress Jennifer Garner, filmmaker Ken Burns and music from Chaka Khan. “The weather bureau has announced that autumn has been postponed until January”. First up Dave mentions CBS’ promotion for their new fall season - including an advert showing this (”bitterly disappointing” Late Show), then Dave revisits the segment from earlier this week showing George Bush giving a speech with traffic noise adding over the top of it (simulating the terrible traffic caused due to the UN meetings). We then see an advert for Dancing With The Stars (something about OJ Simpson stealing something on the show), followed by Great Moments In Presidential Speeches (George Bush sat there deadly still). Then we hear laughter from the audience when Dave is reading out who’s on the big show tonight - they cut to Chris Elliott and Gerard Mulligan sitting there laughing. They come up on stage to promote their new show Bionic Guy (is it on FX or Spike TV? They don’t seem to know) - followed by a clip of the mock-up show (nothing to do with The Bionic Woman apparentely). Then it was the Top Ten list (here we learn that you have a fat baby if it’s head is the size of Barry Bonds’ head). The first guest tonight was Jennifer Garner - she spoke about her new film (The Kingdom), her child’s obsession with her stunt double, and her marriage to Ben Affleck. When Dave asks her who’s the better actor she doesn’t say. Then we have the guy from 7-Eleven come out again - Dave has been busy thinking up new promotions all paid for out of his own pocket apparentely - lots of free cocoa and food. I like this Jim Keyes guy - very funny. But is it the real CEO of 7-Eleven? We have our doubts (as does Dave and Paul). The next guest tonight was Ken Burns - talking about his new war documentary and his other documentary work. A great music performance from Chaka Khan closed the show.

Thursday’s guests were “The View” co-host Whoopi Goldberg and music from Melissa Etheridge. Dave tells us about the latest goings-on on The View - something about Rosie putting a cigarette out on Whoopi’s back. Heh. The first video clip tonight featured a football game with snot coming out of someone’s nose - nice. Then we learn there’s turmoil on “Cane” when they discover someone’s been taking Splenda in their coffee. Then they cut to the Hello Deli with Rupert dressed up as Betty (from Ugly Betty) - he loves the show. A maid then comes in to the theater to see if he needs the cleaning service - Dave says no, but he would like a mint. Paul has a new radio show called This Day In Rock And Roll History and we hear a clip from the show - but it’s an outtake. Then a segment called George W. Bush Vs Mahmoud Ahmadinejad featuring some hilarious sound effects (Dave likes these a lot). My favourite from that segment was “George W. Bush - speaks in broken, hard-to-understand English… Mahmoud - speaks in broken, hard-to-understand English”. Genius. Tonight’s the night for the next installment of Stupid Human Tricks - love this segment - featuring a guy who can kick himself in the head 30 times in 30 seconds (why 30 times in 30 seconds?), a guy who can eat a marshmallow from a mousetrap (I can’t remember this one too well) and a guy who drinks beer through his nose (he can still smoke a cigarette at the same time) - that one looked painful. Whoopi Goldberg was the first guest tonight. She talked about her new role on “The View” and her recent weightloss. Oh, and her radio show. A stunning performance from Melissa Etheridge ended tonight’s proceedings.

Friday’s guests were Paris Hilton and Emile Hirsch. Be warned - tonight’s interview with Paris Hilton was the funniest interview I have ever seen! “Here in New York City, you can tell it’s autumn — you can see the colors change from brown to gold to yellow to rust — and that’s just the tap water”. Another stunt out on 53rd Street tonight - continuing on with the “jumping over things” theme from recent weeks. There’s a guy out there tonight who will jump over taxi cabs on an ATV. Only six though (only?!) - not 8 - as it’s Dave’s fault for not giving him enough room apparantely. There’s a new $5 note out - the Late Show takes a look at it. The new security features involve Lincoln biting off your finger - sounds painful, but I guess if it helps…? A Message From Hillary Clinton was next - featuring a string of words mixed together - “I’m looking forward to having my husband do women in the White House again” - heh. Great Moments In Presidential Speeches was up next, followed by the latest batch of Friday Fun-fun-fun-fun-fun-fun-fun Facts, then the Top Ten list (with the world’s most expensive dessert). The first guest tonight was Paris Hilton. This interview was hilarious and cringe-worthy. Paris came on to promote her new fragrance, but all Dave wanted to talk about was her stint in the old grey bar hotel. Dave asked her about the food in prison (it wasn’t all that great, says Paris). The best part of the interview was when the guy in the audience shouted out “I love you Paris” and Dave (quick wit) retorts “Someone you met in prison?” - absolutely hilarious. Paris looked really unconfortable. This was Dave at the top of his game - this is why he is the greatest talk show host in the world. Marvellous. After this interview we have to compose ourselves from our fits of laughter to watch the guy out on 53rd Street jumping over the taxi cabs on his ATV. He makes the jump over the 6 cabs. Emile Hirsch was the second and final guest tonight. He talked about his new film and his recent adventures (including finding Paris Hilton’s necklace in a nightclub recently). That’s all for this week.

For upcoming guests please go to www.lateshowuk.com/guest-listings

For previous Late Show Roundups check out www.lateshowuk.com/late-show-weekly-roundups

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