Late Show UK

The guests on tonight’s show were Renee Zellweger, Gayle King and Paddy Casey. There’s a new event taking place outside on 53rd Street this evening - tonight Pat Farmer and his team will be dropping 500 baseballs off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theatre building to mark the start of the baseball season. Of course, this event wouldn’t be complete unless they were being dropped onto something - so they’re dropping them onto a parked car. Dave asks Pat to drop one ball off the roof as a test to see what happens. He says if it’s that good with one ball, what will it be like with the full 500? To make things more interesting, they’re now going to be dropping the 500 plus the one test ball - making 501. Gayle King is Oprah’s friend, so Dave mentions his new friend called Joe who’s waiting for him up in the Late Show office. We cut to Joe sitting there completely silent (Dave doesn’t know if he can hear him or not).

Dave’s got a new phone for his desk to replace the old cream coloured one. If you thought the other phone looked old, you obviously haven’t seen this new one. It’s a rotary phone - Dave tries to make calls to times gone by. Dave also has Bill Richardson on the phone, but he’s in the middle of a snack so they can’t speak to him at the moment. Up next - a new advert from Hillary (you know, those “The phone rings at 3am - who do you want answering the phone in the Whitehouse” adverts). It turns out Hillary’s going to always be ready to pick up that phone as she’s going to stay up 24 hours a day on Red Bull, coffee and something from Amy Winehouse (note - not “coffee, cheap speed and doughnuts” that Dave often mentioned).

Great Moments In Presidential Speeches was up next - George Bush (or “still President Bush” as Jon Stewart calls him) couldn’t get the phone number right on a television broadcast. Then tonight’s Top Ten list, which was excuses for getting caught having sex with a picnic table - my favourite in this had to be “was curious if I could have sex with anything more flat and lifeless than my wife” followed by a “Hiyoooo” from Dave. It was then time for the 501 baseballs to get thrown off the roof of the building onto the car down below. Dave thinks they overdid the action replays from multiple angles - I don’t think he thought it was that exciting.

The first guest tonight was Renee Zellweger, who was on to promote her new film with George Clooney - Leatherheads. She did a lot of filming in very cold conditions recently resulting in her getting “lash-cicles” - icicles on her eyelashes - and “snot-cicles” - followed by a trip to Miami where Dave pointed out the snot would be flowing freely. She says she has a very small apartment in New York and that she only goes back a few times a year - mostly just to do her laundry where she is branded a washing machine hog. Also before she went she revealed how she used to drive to Dave’s house years ago to see if he was there, and Dave thought back to when he used to get that a lot.

Gayle King was up next - she’s Oprah’s friend. She talked about growing up in Turkey - she used to think all kids grew up in Turkey back then as it seemed normal to her. There was an awkward moment in the interview - Dave admired her necklace and she thought he was staring at something else! Gayle used to be a newsanchor and remembers a long time ago when she was signing off a programme she said “We’ll all be black next weekend” when she meant “We’ll all be back next weekend”. So she corrected it and said she would still be black but not everyone else. Her boss thought she handled that well. Irish musician Paddy Casey closed the show with a wonderful song - a mellow, chilled out tune.

^ 3rd April 2008 monologue

For upcoming guests please go to www.lateshowuk.com/guest-listings

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